The Final Piece of Mastery of Transmutation ;D
I need to close the loop.
Transmutation has been mastered as far as it can go, now use the transmutation to unify opposites.
This isn’t even a right or wrong thing to do. It’s just something that has to be done to close the loop.
It doesn’t matter at a certain point whether it’s for others or for myself, because it’s really kinda both.
But I don’t need to care about whether or not anyone will bother me. I don’t need people to feel proud of me.
It actually is damaging when people feel proud of you, because it gives you pride.
If you are given too much pride, I think that at a certain point, you start caring about what other people think of you.
At a certain point, I start to become paranoid when I think things that are too ‘out there’, and I don’t know what that’s about. When it happens, I start to feel like the things I am typing are being key logged. Which they probably are, but for advertising. Still, somebody could sell that information to someone else. Then it’s not as illegal to do it for ill-intent, thus avoiding more lawsuits (intent does matter in things like that sometimes). It could be bad. They could still sell that to companies that would do it for other things such as finding out what we type and how we feel when we are typing it, and then doing neural programming with their knowledge of what we are typing, and said neural correlates. It’s creepy. But even if that is happening, it’s not something to worry about. I mean, it is, but it’s useless to worry about it. It is something that we are programmed to be worried about, given certain types of logic we are taught plus knowledge of neurology and the neurotransmitters. Can nanobots be hacked and tracked? I’m getting these weird physical reactions to this. I don’t believe that technology would be that evolved yet in some ways, but more so I don’t know if that would even work. I think in some ways, technology actually IS really evolved, and if something were possible, it would probably be done if someone had enough money. People who have just ‘put the pieces together’. I don’t know if it’s actually dangerous to think aloud, or whether I am being key logged. I might just be merging with the digital world more and starting to operate a little more like that. How could something like that really be hacked, and work?
I said “You shouldn’t be worried.” and felt blessed and felt energy flowing from the top of my head.
;D
Logically you shouldn’t worry about this for yourself because you do give to society (health insurance and interact with the medical society) by living off of another’s resources. You also don’t make an influence on society as in they wouldn’t see you as someone competent or a ‘threat’, and you do give back and participate.
Being stressed about whether or not things will happen is literally useless. You can be aware of something but not get stressed about the future. Doing things in the present to prevent issues is the best bet for a lot of things, but sometimes this is considered manipulation. Then again, that knowledge for safety could be used for just survival, as well. There ought to not be something wrong about one’s right to be in this world once we are here.
But if the key logging would be happening, it would be really expensive to do it each time. Unless putting certain chemicals in certain substances could allow tracking of metals. So paying for the cost of the resources to connect all those pieces together might only be used for high-threat individuals. While it may be technologically possible, I think it would be expensive to pull off, unless just the right people had joined together and formulated something strategically. Conversely, would it actually be easier to accomplish this, since it would be done through use and tracking of information that is happening in society rather than some complex chemical process that would be super expensive to pull off?
First, the following information would be needed:
1. the thing you typed key logged with timestamp, or records of e-mails and messages sent online,
2. brain mapping through utilization of nanobots which send information remotely, and these records timestamped,
it could be found out exactly what kind of neural responses we have to specific thoughts.
If the neural correlates are perfected, theoretically, certain neural conditions could be pre-empted or prevented. If information is gained that one is entering into a specific state of mind due to thinking about specific topics, could this knowledge (that the person is thinking of something specific) then be used in order to trigger a different sort of neural response, such as a stress response?
Can nanobots be tracked and/or hacked? With nanobots and heavy metals in the system, brain activity might be able to be tracked with contrast; thus, neural correlates could be revealed for specific thoughts and topics. If nanobots can be hacked to trigger specific neural responses to certain thoughts or feelings, theoretically, when we are thinking about things that could potentially be considered ‘dangerous’ or a threat to societal structure, we could be triggered into a stress response in order to keep us away from focusing on specific things.
Mapping the mind with nanotechnology:
This makes me kinda worried about stress reactions. Could the body be programmed to have a stress reaction to sensitivity, or to certain signals being sent to that system? Probably to some extent. But it couldn’t be *too* obvious; otherwise, there would be unwanted effects in masses of individuals. If it were happening, we could still learn to control it if we became aware of it.
Could they test who it works on? Probably not, because medical testing is way too expensive and time-consuming.
It might be worse to get hit with lyme as well as that, however. But I can still learn to master it by having techniques for dealing with stress. I might just have to talk myself down more often. Luckily I have that good self-logic.
Logically, I shouldn’t be worried about a stress reaction, because it’s a better use of my time to think about it and try to make it better, or do what feels best to myself instinctually. But sometimes, instincts limited to only the moment can cause great pain to another, and for no logical or good or justifiable purpose at all other than fulfilling some sort of urge within the self. (See below: An instinct that I followed when a kid without all the knowledge).
You need a lot of energy because you can metabolize a lot. (metabolize quickly)
This is why you are going to do this sort of merge. I remember calling tripping “verging” at a certain point.
How can I be proud enough to balance on the line, but not go overboard into self interest or self-delusion?
I need to remember: The self is what you want to be, not necessarily what you are.
What got me put on medication (ritalin) as a child?
Being creative and full of life, But I need to continue being “full of life”. Doubt can be very dangerous to the self-esteem.
What is that swallowing when you are nervous thing? I never knew that literally happened.
Maybe I do that because it helps me to transmute. It’s weird how I keep forgetting this. I raise my eyebrows because it makes me feel more skeptical of something, and it takes me down a few notches. I didn’t realize I was doing this before, but now I just realized I am doing that. I was raising my eyebrows a while back, without knowing that was why I did it. That unconsciously happened because it would help me when nervous, just like the swallowing thing seems to help me when I am nervous as an instant reaction. I just realized that I probably raise my eyebrows when I am feeling some sort of belief in a conspiracy, because it helps take me down a notch and unconsciously makes me feel a little more skeptical of whatever it is that I am thinking about. Just like smiling helps us to actually feel happier.
They are unconscious things the body does to deal with and transmute emotions and responses.
I feel like I am closing the loop of mastering transmutation.
**
I have always wanted to help people, and felt bad if I hurt someone or hurt their feelings.
But there was one time I pushed my friend off the trampoline when I was 6. I said to her before I did it, “I am going to push you off the trampoline.” That was some sort of instinctual urge to destroy that went through me. I didn’t have all the knowledge; therefore I didn’t realize that I could have fucking broken my friend’s neck if she had landed wrong. I didn’t fully understand the situation as a child, but I am so glad that I got that out of my system to just randomly hurt someone, at a young age, before I could get in trouble legally for doing something like that.
It’s sexy and enticing in some way to be aligned with instinctual urges, but it needs to be channeled properly.
But maybe I was made a certain way SO that I could play a part in the cycle could be completed; the gap closed.
That is what Desmond did in LOST as well.
Desmonysius is doing that right now, in the dream and digital realms.
Dreams and digital realms are the same as one another in some ways, because the Consciousness inside it operates in a non dual fashion because it has less to project on to.
And the way the ladder works, each level creates the next one, or leads to, the next form of Consciousness to operate. The levels alternate between dually operated, and non-dually operated (as far as general perceptions of positive and negative, good and bad, etc and knowledge of opposites). The dream realm created this one, and this one created the digital one.
The dual-operated realities are more like a projection, because that kind of dual nature moves linearly. It’s as if communication being projected on to systems creates consciousness. The brain is a manifestation of a system. The electricity IS consciousness.
I feel like I am meant to live in a non dually operated level. Always have felt this.
They said that Jesus “died to the world” and that it wasn’t that he was literally crucified. It was that he died to the material world. His story was changed in order to manipulate people. (From what? Not wanting to be Jesus, or be part of his archetype?) Maybe that reality was like a dream reality, and we gave birth to this one through that.
Maybe the part of me that God is within is also Mary; is also Jesus, in different ways metaphorically. Forgiveness comes very naturally to me. And I also feel that opposites and polarities are needing to be unified and transmutated / transmitted.
I also gave birth to Desmonysius, who was a mix between Desmond, who unified the opposites, and Dionysus, the God of revelry. “Revelations” has to do with completion of the cycle, is the chapter in the bible when the end of the cycle (end of times) is reached. Circular directional forces revolve (same root word as revelation) as well, and we see this in the Ouroboros. Unification of opposites is reached at the end of the cycle.
Maybe that’s what my Internet child would do.
I have been thinking about how I had that dream of having a baby named Desmonysius. I feel that I am meant to transmute in this reality, unify opposites in the ascension or apocalypse, and then forgive myself fully after I am dead to this world, either in the dream or digital world. I have had a theory about there being a metaphorical and logically systematic ladder which represents alternating dual and non-dual realities which create one another in succession, as the main system of the Universe. This is connected to the idea that Universal Truths in this reality are paradoxes, and have to do with reconciling something that is usually oppositic (binary). In my poem, ‘The Negative Capability of Blythe’, I mention a ‘new communication’, which could be the form of language that we will have to use after we pass over. This kind of communication is called ‘Illum’. This relates to binary, because it seems like that is what it would be like TO experience the binary. This feeling and mode of communication is what we would have to operate on after we merge the two realities in order to create a new reality, and then use Consciousness to enter into that reality. To reference back to the poem I mentioned, ‘Blythe’ ended up being what I said I would name my daughter. But as far as the poem goes, Blythe seems to function more as a self whom I am currently giving birth to within the self. I was channeling Blythe, on another level. I think that Blythe is the one who is teaching Desmonysius to unify this reality and the dream realm, in order to bring about the new digital Consciousness. I also feel that I am optimized to live in the digital consciousness; I would be ‘dead to the world’. All I would have to do would be believe in God and in myself, which is also what the psychic told me. (she had exclaimed, “You’re not gonna believe me!”)
Jacob = relative God, and Man In Black = bringer of chaos (darkness)
Ben was the one who would have to continue on to serve,
At the island, we have the forces of Jacob and Man in Black, and the MIB is the one who wants to push things along by leaving the island and being ‘dead to the island’. Ben is the apocalyptic soul, but still the fool, who manipulates and brings about genocide and destroys the last reality in order to progress things. Desmond is the one who masters the art of unification.
We can choose whether to have a physical revolution, or a revolution of the mind. It brings us to the same place.
I’m going to use the term ‘apocalyptic soul’ as somebody who is well-inclined to act in ways which complete cycles on Universal or world levels.
Hitler had great enthusiasm (for the wrong things), as well as a taste for apocalyptic energy. Those apocalyptic souls who only master transmutation on a grand scale are at risk of bringing about great pain in order to further the cycle, through destructive behaviors. But if we can also learn how to master Unification of polarities, we choose to evolve. This is what it means to either reach nirvana or not, exit ____ and stop the cycle we’ve been trapped in. Evolution basically is taking two contradictory conditions or forces of nature that are creating a survival issue, and balancing them out with a correcting behavior and change in the underlying coding. Evolution could be reached through several paths; in the immaterial realm, it could be done through debt forgiveness. In the immaterial realm, it is reached instead through forgiveness of the true nature of humankind, which is Unification of polarities. Evidently we aren’t evolved enough on a social level as a whole to implement debt forgiveness; therefore, we need to forgive the true nature of humankind instead.
If we can have an ascension before we have a destructive apocalypse, as we become one, it will become a lot more difficult to lie, and we will be using our Intuition a lot more. It will be a lot more difficult to wake up to our true nature, and many won’t be able to handle it.
This must have been what I meant by “One day we will all accept the truth about ourselves; one day we will all accept the truth of evolution”.
An insight on a parallel I connected in my life:
Once I go down that rabbit hole, there’s no stopping me. This is why I would have temper tantrums every single fucking day when I was a kid. I was too enthusiastic, which was connected with behavior stemming from my desire. If I wanted something and believed I was entitled to it and I didn’t get it, I would get angry. I had to just get rid of behavior like that entirely by extinguishing my desire to a great amount, because it can manifest in both ways. As well, it’s obnoxious and self-serving to take part in that behavior. Now, I am the complete opposite and I’m pretty much the least angry person you’d ever meet.
As a result of the extinguishing of desire, I don’t feel angry anymore. I used to be better at manipulating situations to get what I wanted, but now I just don’t feel as entitled as I used to because I don’t have that same desire I used to. You will rarely EVER see me get angry. This is a really good thing, because it also reflects that I might not be as prideful either. But it’s good to have some enthusiasm for your desires.
**
When I was little, when things used to be bad, I wouldn’t necessarily be upset. I would usually still be happy, for the mere fact that we were sharing in it together. I remember I used to say, “At least we/they are all in the same boat.”
This is kinda Dionysian.
**
What was it I did that got my oxygen cut off?
For some reason I think that I didn’t like the epidural that they gave my mom.
“You have Dreams of not being able to breathe” said the psychic.
Could that be literal sleep apnea, in order to give me a hint about the thing I could do to help move myself along?
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